Smartass Extraordinaire

on the road again

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:57:42 GMT

currently in Boston, and living off baby wipes...

after a few near-misses and last minute freak outs, we finally made it to Warped Tour.

of course, I've got a crater-sized pimple right between my eyes and I have to do my "lady business" in the early morning hours so I don't waste time when we gotta get goin, but, ya know, I deal.

Shwayze's ridiculous yellow Dopamine bus just pulled up and everyone's still asleep...

I really gotta pee.
ugh.

currently eating a Pinkberry Green Tea smoothie

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:12:13 GMT

so i said i'd be doing some Warped Tour dates...

i'll be on the tour the 23rd-28th (the East Coast dates).

if you're planning on going feel free to stop by and say hi - i'll either be behind the Shiragirl booth or running around with friends.

just look for this mug:

stay cool kiddos!!!

maidenform and casseroles

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:00:40 GMT

have i ever mentioned i LOVE the 60's?

i'm watching the Man Men marathon on AMC right now.
this show is addictive.
the drinking, the smoking, the eyeliner, the Breck hair, the polyester!!!

i collect vintage 60's items.
my set of Betty Crocker cookbooks, a four piece set of turquoise shot glasses with gold trim, a Wirax toast rack, matchbooks from old hotels, a seafoam green formica table with four baby pink and chrome chairs, various knicknacks, etc etc...

la dolce vita!!

i hate doxycycline :(

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:49:15 GMT

koozies!

i've got to run errands before my burlesque show tonite...
afterward my gay and i are going to see a midnite showing of Xanadu.

it's about 8 bajillion degrees in Brooklyn right now...

here's what i did today...

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:40:13 GMT

buttercream dreams and angelfood nightmares

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:33:01 GMT

this is me "backstage" at the show last nite...

our lovely "dressing room"...

so it was...yea.
can i just reiterate that i HATE frat boys???
a lovely surprise was that Jared the Conjuror was also performing (which i had no idea about!)...
he runs Vicious Vaudeville, the show i'm doing Saturday.
afterward we went and got a drink at a nearby restaurant and chatted it up.
i'm really excited about doing his show this weekend.

i think i'm going to do adayinmylife today,
what with the cupcake smashing and whatnot.

gunh.
and on that note...sleep!!!

mannequins with kill appeal

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:37:55 GMT

sitting here eating a combination Jeno's pizza and picking off the sausage bits and pepperoni squares (they were out of cheese at the grocery store).
my mom is always grossed out by the fact that i LOVE these things.
they taste like my childhood!!!

so it's a little early, but i thought i'd get a jump on it:

also, some random thoughts.
i work as a fetish model along with all the other modeling work i do.
(the other stuff i consider my creative projects.)
when i say fetish, i don't so much mean a fetish fashion model, with all the latex and weird outfits, though i've done that too - i mean modeling for people with actual fetishes.
the 20 min photoshoot where i made a couple hundred just being tickled.
the foot photoshoot i'm doing in August.
and today, the shoot where i'm paid an insane amount just to read poetry scantily clad (he also bought me some stuff from Ricky's and earrings from a sidewalk vendor).
if you had asked me three years ago if i thought i could be making a living doing this, i probably NEVER would have said "yes".

life's funny sometimes, isn't it?

mutualism

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:38:15 GMT

i got bored last nite and decided to do another DIY set for GG:

Jessie Lee just got accepted to GG so we're doing a set together on Friday -
cupcake fight.

i'm supposed to speak to someone about an issue this week.
they left me a message yesterday and now we're playing phone tag.
somehow i doubt my solution will happen considering we don't live in a perfect world.

i did my test shoot for Live Fast NYC today.
i'm taking a new prescription and took a pill on an empty stomach before i left for the shoot today...figured i'd just grab a muffin at Dunkin Donuts or something.
10 minutes later i'm yakking my guts out in the bathroom...
then had to go model in the sun and heat.
fun!

i've been reading about figs and fig wasps all evening...
my life is so *~*glamorous*~*

Smear This!!!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:36:17 GMT

so.
i'm doing a burlesque number for this new show Freaks and Geeks on Thursday at this place called Identity:

the theme is "futuristic".
i want to do a number where i'm a space explorer who SURPRISE! has an alien burst out of her chest during the performance (and the chestburster is wearing teeny baby-alien sized pasties).

of course, this all depends on if i can FIND a chestburster plush tomorrow

and be able to throw the costume together in time...

whaddya think??

someone is sending me naughty photos teehee

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:33:55 GMT

i saw Hellboy II tonite.
AMAZING.
i want to be a kung-fu elf.

afterward i went to the Sanrio store...
they had TONS of new Cinnamoroll stuff out, and i bought these:

a coinpurse!

a mirror!

tomorrow i am delivering my vintage wedding dress to its buyer in Manhattan.
then doing laundry and the grocery store.

i ate a whole giant bag of Cheetos for dinner tonite.
:x

when i say i hate you, just know i hate you with the intensity of the fire of a 1,000 white hot suns

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:01:20 GMT

moving on from tonite's exercise in COLOSSAL NERVE and general shitiness...

i spent the day watching my pal Joey Kipp in a contemporary dance performance in Manhattan:

on our way back from the studio, we saw an actual BUM ORGY.

afterward we had the most amazing peanut butter chocolate frozen coffees ever.

later, i wandered around the city and went WAAAY above my budget boutique shopping:

lol at the Playboys in my bathroom!

i think i am going to go see Hellboy II tomorrow nite.
tonite is sitting at home, drinking spiced chai and calming myself.
*breathe in, breathe out*

look what i found!!!

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:12:00 GMT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

from my shoot with Matt for DareStars!

i'm doing a shoot for Live Fast clothing store in Manhattan early next week.

woo woo woo!!!

also, i will be doing some Warped Tour dates later this month.
will keep you posted.

right now it's time for bedie-bye...

LJ YARD SALE

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:41:45 GMT

so i was in the process of cleaning my room at 3AM when i realized i had a HUGE bag of clothing and general JUNK that i'd been holding onto since i moved back in May.
normally i give clothing i don't want to roommates/female friends, but seeing as how i am on the other end of Brooklyn and living with a non-gay male (who, much to my disappointment, does NOT seem like the cross-dressing type) - i'm selling everything via an internet rummage sale!

all of these clothes are in mint or near-mint condition, having been worn only a few times or just for shoots (i go through clothes like water).

if you're interested in an item, just hit me up at apatheticseller@gmail.com.

all listed prices include shipping.

if you have any questions, feel free to ask - i'm going to x-post this to some other communities as well.

ONTO THE SALE!!

Wet-Seal hot pink fashion print tunic-tank (sleeves removed - otherwise gently worn).
Size: Small
$10

Emily black and pink spider ruffle knee-highs.
$5

Forever 21 black front-hook corset style top (bust is padded and approximately 32-34B - worn only for shoots/performances).
Size: Small
$10

Urban Outfitters/Damsel gold bandeau top - never worn, tags attached.
Size: Small
$5

Mandee gold lame sun, moon, stars hot pants - never worn, tags attached.
Size: 6
$5

American Apparel wet-look leotard in black - worn for performances/shoots.
Size: M
$20

Target/Mossimo Supply Co. black tunic tank - worn 2 to 3 times.
Size: XS
$10

Chooka turquoise Tattoo City rain boots - worn only 3 or 4 times.
Size: 9
$20

Square One flat black fall boots.
Size: 8 1/2 or 9
$10

the pièce de résistance

Vintage, hand-made wedding dress circa 1960's.
these are not my photos - they're from the auction when *i* bought the dress. this dress has been worn only once, and for a photoshoot:

dress is made of ivory organza and more than likely a polyester blend. front includes hand-sewn faux pearls and lace applique, which continues around collar and down the back. bridal veil included and contains hand-sewn pearls on Juliet cap, lace applique, and small blossom appliques down veil.

dress measures ALMOST EXACTLY 32B-24-31.

again, this dress is in MINT condition.

Size: 32B-24-31 (give or take a few inches)
SOLD

ALSO FOR SALE:

Sekonic Flashmate digital lightmeter, model L-308BII
portable, reliable little light meter perfect for professional photographers, art students, and occasional hobbyist! i bought this little guy for a photography class when i was in art school, and it definitely pulled me through. used minimally since i am not a photographer. retail value of this light meter can be upwards of $200.

includes meter, instructions, soft carrying case, and box.

PRICE: $125

coz i'm a hundred degrees in the shade over here

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:59:46 GMT

this is pretty much how i feel right about now.

in other news...Sourpuss Clothing is sending me samples from their collection to shoot for their site!

also, i am meeting up with my old roomie heartshapedkey tonite for coffee.
a very sassy girl and INSANELY talented artist, who is also a champion of artist's rights and freedom of speech.
be sure to check out her stuff!!

ok, i'm gonna go hop in the shower and wash off my stank.
keep cool, kiddos!!!

all is right in the jungle (hopefully)

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:34:20 GMT

so.

I am not doing the party on Friday.

I did speak with the organizers, and things have been cleared up.

i never wanted to be anybody else

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:39:14 GMT

igor consistently takes THE WORST pictures of me.
at this point it's like a skill, so i just go with it.
from the drunken insanity on the 4th...

sakura BLEU!!!

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 01:46:55 GMT

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE!!!

i'm headed to this tonite to support my gay Hurt Kelly:

on a side note:
a few months ago a did a fetish video where i recited haiku scantily clad.
THE YOUTUBE VIDEO HAS 17,000 VIEWS!!!

excuse while i rofl myself to death...

bang a gong

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:51:01 GMT

i ordered this dress online three days ago and it's already here - can't wait to wear it out and about!!
please ignore my humidity-wilted hair and the laundry mountain behind me.

my roommate is on a date tonite with some girl he met at work.
awww...
when i talked to him last nite, he still hadn't decided where they were gonna go, hahaha.

July 4th Edition of Glamdammit tonite!
i'm gogo dancing - don't miss it!!!

what are your guys' plans for the 4th??

IRONY. I HAZ IT.

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:23:36 GMT

so.
this is the Village Voice ad for Stairway to Hell - THE ONE AND ONLY PIECE OF MARKETING THE PRODUCERS EVER DID FOR THIS SHOW.
i called Jim Rose and told him i was quitting...it sounds like they're letting almost everyone go.
THEY FIRED SATAN!!!

had a meeting today with The New Stage Theater for their cabaret play Oh Those Beautiful Weimar Girls!
i had wanted to audition for one of the ensemble/cabaret dancers, but the director REALLY wants me to read for the lead role of Anita Berber.

two things: it requires partial nudity and it's unpaid.

decisions, decisions.

what should i do???

WTF MAN, WTF

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:50:30 GMT

so.

just got off the phone with Jim Rose.
they're taking over the Stairway to Hell Production.

they wanted me to put things in my vagina.

i have a sneaking suspicion i WILL NOT be going to Edinburgh.

HOWEVER
i did just get a call from a new cabaret production that will be running this fall...
i have a meeting on Wednesday.

photoshoot & meetings tomorrow.
aarrrggghhhh...

back in black

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:48:44 GMT

probably our best run yet -
DESPITE our lead falling off the stage TWICE, some technical difficulties, and two spoiled yuppie bitches who stormed the stage AND dressing room during major numbers and then refused to leave because "it was THEIR party".

i also saw Wall-E and went lingerie shopping tonite.
here is my outfit for the Fourth of July party...

PATRIOTISM!!!

gentleman take Polaroids

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:08:18 GMT

these are low-res photos from the Polaroid project with Franklin Thompson.
Polaroid is discontinuing this film so he is trying to get a bunch of cool photos with it while he still can...

behind the scenes photos from my shoot yesterday.
i should have my shots by next week...
i got to do extra outfits because the team liked me!
HAH, EAT IT OTHER MODELS!!!
:x

i got stuck in this chair ahahahahaha

me in my big dorky geek glasses with a piece from the shoot i got to keep...

Stairway to Hell performance tonite at 10pm Rebel NYC!!
message me for guest list if you're in the city!!!

on my way to the photoshoot

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 12:37:07 GMT

I had DunkinDonuts blueberry iced coffee and a blueberry muffin this morning.

what did you have for breakfast?

celebrate the 4th the way the founding fathers intended...

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:23:12 GMT

with debauchery and gratuitous nudity!!!

i will be wearing stars & stripes pasties for the party.
PATRIOTIC.

Americas Basics shoot tomorrow.
9AM call time...UUUUGGGGHHHH

apparently i was unaware...

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 05:38:07 GMT

my newest DIY GodsGirls set went up a few weeks ago.
i was drunk when i took these.
hah.